


World Views

by Priceless



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 10:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17364035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priceless/pseuds/Priceless
Summary: Set in Season 12, with reference to past comic seasons.The gang have defeated the demon Harth from the future and are getting settled back into normal life.Some dialogue from The Reckoning by Christos Gage





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Rebcake and everyone in the Spuffy Appreciation Group for all your help, knowledge, patience and endless support.

Buffy stared blankly at the screen, wondering what the hell was she doing here. She looked around the mostly empty station back office, which the old hands called ‘the long room’ for some reason that had never been fully explained to her. It didn’t strike her as particularly long. Buffy was trying to catch up with paperwork she’d been putting off for days, but her Sergeant had finally caught up with her and ordered her to complete her PS forms, her SOP forms, and worst of all her court attendance forms. Masses of endless forms which no one had warned her about before she’d joined the Supernatural Division of the San Francisco Police Department.

A door banged and a voice called “Hi B. Whatcha doing?” 

Faith strode to Buffy’s desk and flopped down on a nearby chair. “Oh no, not forms. Shoulda come out tonight. Reklak demon causing trouble in one of the demon bars. Jay’s taken her down to the cells to sleep it off. Mucho fun,”

Buffy glanced at Faith, groaned and put her head down on her desk. Faith laughed, patted her on the back. “Coffee. That’ll keep you going,” and off she disappeared to the coffee lounge. Buffy marvelled at how well Faith fitted in to the long room. The structure, the camaraderie, being part of a team that protected its own, it all seemed to work for Faith. She’d found a place here, was well liked and respected. There was already talk of promotion even though they’d been here only a few months. Buffy was jealous, she could admit that. Faith felt a sense of freedom here, while Buffy felt restricted and regimented. She hated taking orders and letting others decide what she’d do and when she’d do it never did sit right with her. 

She gingerly touched the gun that was now a permanent fixture on her belt. She hated it more now than she ever had, and she’d always hated guns. She hadn’t had to draw it yet, but she knew that time would come. Imagine the forms she’d have to fill in then, she thought with a smile. It made her think of her time working private security at Deepscan, which had ended in failure, and this felt very much like history repeating.

Her phone rang and before she could speak, Spike said “Vampire nest Slayer, you interested?”

How she desperately wanted to say yes, of course, where are you, how many, give me five minutes. But instead she replied “I’m out of rotation tonight, but I can pass on the details. Faith’s here.” 

“That’s alright, I can handle it. Think there’s only five or six. Might try and get Peaches to help,” Buffy could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“How is he?” she asked. In the months since Illyria sacrificed herself, Angel had spent his time alternating between manically trying to find a way to rescue her, and brooding silently over her loss. Willow and Dawn had both tried to locate Illyria, with little success, and all Buffy could offer were comforting words. 

Buffy knew Spike’s silence was because either he was jealous of her concern for Angel, or he had bad news about Angel’s emotional state. The last few months had been difficult for the three of them to navigate and Spike seemed to be suffering from hurt feelings. After defeating Harth, Angel had moved into Dawn and Xander’s basement, at Buffy’s insistence. 

“Angel needs us, you must see that Dawn. The kind thing would be to help him. We’d have never defeated Harth without him, and he’s mourning Illyria. He needs us.” Buffy had felt protective of the grieving vampire, and Dawn had to admit she was worried he may do something stupid if someone didn’t keep an eye on him. It was meant to be a short-term solution, but Angel had been living in the basement for nearly three months. 

“The silly bugger’s trying to contact The Powers. He’s got some theory that they can tell him how to get Illyria back,” Spike sounded exasperated. “Red’s helping,” he continued, dismissively. He had very little use for magic and never hid his feelings about it.

Buffy could see Faith was making her way back with a mug of coffee. “I’ll talk to Willow. And Angel. I’m not sure Willow’s encouragement is helping. You go. Kill vamps. Don’t get dusted and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Faith put the mug on Buffy’s desk, along with a chocolate muffin. Faith nodded towards the phone “Spike?”. Buffy nodded, her mouth full of muffin.

“How’s he feel about you living with your ex-honey?” Faith asked, eyebrow raised and snarky smile on her face. 

“Faith!” Buffy spluttered “I am not living with Angel. Well, we are living in the same house, but that’s not the same thing at all, as you well know,” Buffy quickly changed the subject “If you have nothing else to do why don’t you help me with these forms?”

Faith gave an impatient sigh and pushed Buffy out of the way, taking her place at the computer. Buffy knew Spike didn’t like Angel living at Dawn and Xander’s place, but every time Buffy had tried to broach the subject Spike had laughed it off or changed the subject. If he wouldn’t talk about it, then Buffy didn’t know what else she could do. Spike’s feelings were not her problem, she had enough problems of her own right now.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy climbed the porch steps, listening to the argument she could hear happening inside the house.

“I have to go to work Dawn, we need the money,”

“She’s your daughter too Xander, why is it always me that has to take responsibility?”

“You’re her mother!”

“And you’re her father, which doesn’t seem to stop you doing anything you damn well want to.”

Buffy turned her key in the lock and pushed the door open. The house was silent now, but the atmosphere was heavy with unspoken resentment. Dawn huffed her way past her sister and ran up the stairs, no doubt to deal with Joyce. Xander nodded his hello and goodbye and went out the front door, to work Buffy presumed.

These rows had been happening since they’d returned from the future. Xander had tried to stop Dawn from using her powers to help Melaka Fray and although at the time Dawn seemed to forgive him, the resentment had simply built and now the couple fought much of the time, often about inconsequential things. Buffy wondered, not for the first time, if Dawn and Xander wouldn’t be better spending some time apart. She would add them to her list of people she had to talk to, after she got some sleep. 

Buffy wandered through to the kitchen, debating whether to make some cocoa before bed, and found Angel searching through the fridge, probably looking for some blood.

“Hey you, are you up early or . . . up late?” she asked. “Or did my sisters’ scenes from a marriage wake you up?”

“I didn’t think they were married,” Angel answered, his brow furrowed. Buffy couldn’t help but smile at his sincerity, she imagined him feeling guilty that he hadn’t sent a gift for the wedding. She patted his arm comfortingly.

“They aren’t, I’m happy to say,” she said in a slightly condescending tone. 

She reached around him and grabbed the milk, busying herself making cocoa while he heated his blood in the microwave. It felt so nicely domestic and natural. They’d never had this when they’d been dating and now, moving silently around the kitchen together felt pleasantly normal. 

Angel reached out ran his thumb down Buffy’s cheek as she concentrated on stirring the milk. She smiled up at him as his thumb stroked gently across her mouth. Somewhere at the back of her mind Buffy could hear a tiny voice telling her that this was not a good idea. Angel was hurting and this was complicated and there were sure to be consequences she couldn’t even imagine right now and she was unhappy and looking for comfort and nothing good could come from this and . . . then there was silence as Angel’s lips touched hers and they were kissing. 

Buffy suddenly felt very young. She was taken back to another time. Her mom was at the gallery and Willow would be meeting her later at The Bronze to go over their history homework, and Xander would be fighting with Cordy about something stupid . . . well some things don’t change she thought, Xander fighting with the women he loves. That thought and the sizzle from boiled over milk awoke her from her kissing reverie and she quickly pulled away from Angel.

“Buffy, I’m sorry, I know we can’t do this.” Angel ran his hand across his eyes “I’m a mess. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not sleeping much . . .” He trailed off, not sure if he was making things better or worse and feeling ashamed that he may have taken advantage of the situation. He took his blood out of the microwave and quietly went down to the basement.

Buffy cleaned the stove top, her mind in turmoil. This was Angel, her first love. Certainly her love when things seemed less complicated and she knew who she was and what she wanted. Back then she'd wanted normal and now she had normal and she still wasn’t satisfied. She had a normal job, she was earning good money for the first time in her life and earning it legally, no more crazy bank robbing antics, she was happy to say. She got a small stipend from the Watcher’s Council, though she had little contact with them nowadays. She’d wanted to put space between herself and Giles now he was back working for the newly constituted Watchers Council. She wondered if Angel coming back into her life, needing her again, might be fate offering her an opportunity . She made her way up to her bedroom, cocoa in hand, pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to sleep as her mind was a jumble of memories and dreams.

She stopped at her niece’s room, seeing the door slightly open. Dawn was dressing Joyce, who was laid out on the changing table, seemingly giggling her little head off. Dawn was chattering away to her and suddenly Buffy was hit by a memory of their mom doing this with Dawn. It certainly was a day for wandering down memory lane Buffy thought.

“Did you hear our fight?” Dawn asked.

“You and Joyce?” Buffy replied, trying to keep the mood light “Nope, but pretty sure you could take her,”

“You really aren’t cut out for comedy,” Dawn said archly. “I meant the fight with that dumbass who just left for work?” She lifted a fully dressed Joyce into her arms and planted lots of little kisses over her daughter’s face.

“Nope, didn’t hear a thing,” Buffy lied. She had too much on her mind to get into this with Dawn right now. She’d also misjudged Dawn’s level of sympathy with a sister who’d just finished her fourth night shift, and found Dawn following her to her bedroom.

“He does nothing around the house, he works all the time, hardly sees Joycie and expects me to arrange childcare when I’ve got to go to class. ‘Don’t rely on me’, he says. What use is he!” Dawn sat on the comfy chair in the corner of the room, while Buffy changed into her pyjamas. 

“You two should maybe talk more,” was all Buffy could come up with as she escaped into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. Dawn was still there when she came back. Buffy drew the curtains and climbed into bed. “I need some sleep Dawnie, can we talk later please?” 

Dawn gave a dramatic sigh but finally left, quietly closing the door shut behind her. Buffy knew Dawn was lonely, she’d reduced her course down to two classes a week while Xander worked long hours at his construction job, so the rest of her time was spent mostly alone with Joyce. To earn extra money, Xander had taken solo commissions for some woodwork pieces. He’d turned their garage into a wood shop and when he was home, he spent long hours there. Buffy had every sympathy with Dawn but she understood Xander’s need to make money, especially now they had a child and a mortgage. 

Buffy felt guilty at pushing her sister to the back of her mind to think about the vampire in the basement. That felt like deja vu, but that had been a very different vampire. She turned onto her side and closed her eyes; her last thought was the memory of how stunned she’d been when Angel had been returned from hell and the way he’d clung to her as though she were the only real thing in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy awoke in the early afternoon. For a second, she felt rested, then she remembered what happened that morning and all her problems came flooding back. She wished she could lay in bed for the rest of the day, but knew that isn’t what grown-ups do, and she was attempting to be a grown-up and live in the real world. She debated going downstairs to the basement and speaking to Angel, but decided that was just asking for trouble. 

She messaged Willow “Coffee later?” Willow replied “Sure. Got a meeting in 10, should be out by 4. Meet you at the center.”

Buffy was at the women’s center by quart to four and made herself at home in Willow’s office. The Center was a woman only space that offered all sorts of services. Willow was currently attempting to make it completely green and carbon neutral, but it wasn’t easy. She’d confided in Buffy that she’d had to occasionally use magic to keep them within budget financially and was often stressed by the pressure of the work. 

“Buffy, hi. Am I late? Oh no, I’m just in time. I’m trying to fund more computers and tech so people can run their businesses from here, and the center can take a cut of the profits,” Willow’s eyes widened “Oh a tiny cut of course, just to cover the overheads. We also want to offer more childcare facilities and that ain’t cheap. Anyway, I’m sure you aren’t here to discuss this place. How are you? How’s work?”

The center ran a co-operative coffee shop so the two women bought their coffees and sat at a table by the window. Buffy was surprised at how good the coffee actually was and when she commented on that, Willow gave a mini lecture on the proper sourcing of sustainable coffee beans . . . or something like that. Buffy stopped listening. She loved Willow, but sometimes her witchy friend got so carried away by her work and all that she was planning that she forgot other people didn’t always share her deep interest in the subject.

“Will,” Buffy broke in to the monologue “I need to talk to you about Angel. Are you trying to contact The Powers? Is that even possible?”

“Well it’s possible, in theory,” Willow answered without breaking stride “if we can find a conduit. As The Powers don’t seem to be in this dimension anymore, finding a conduit is proving a bit tricky,”. She looked pensive for a moment, “We are getting close, the coven is working on it.” She saw the worried look on Buffy’s face. “If there’s anyway to find Illyria we have to try, don’t we?”

“We do, I think. But is it helping Angel? If it isn’t possible, the disappointment might destroy him.”

“Destroy him? That’s a little dramatic don’t ya think?” Willow asked, sipping her coffee but keeping her eyes firmly on Buffy.

“A little. Maybe,” Buffy conceded. “But he’s very emotional right now. We shouldn’t be building his hopes up.”

Willow was silent for a moment, studying her friend. Buffy squirmed a little and began playing with the little packets of sugar someone had left on the table, twisting them through her fingers. She knew she looked guilty and nervous, and that Willow would see it too. 

“Buffy, is something happening between you and Angel?”

“No, of course not,” Buffy replied. The look on Willow’s face told her that her lie was obvious. 

“Oh Will, we kissed. But only for a second, then I came to my senses. It just felt so . . . normal,”

Willow pursed her lips, as though afraid she was going to say the wrong thing, so thought it best to say nothing. 

“He loves Illyria, I know that,” Buffy conceded “and we’re going to get her back. I get that, I really do. But everything’s gotten so complicated,” she felt tears prick her eyes “I thought I’d have my life sorted out by now, I thought Spike was my issue, so I ended it with him. I got a real job with real money and a retirement plan and all that grown up stuff. I even have savings like a real adult and I’m looking for my own place . . .” her voice became a whisper. Willow put her hand over Buffy’s and squeezed “So why aren’t I happy Will? Why is so much going wrong and not working out like it’s supposed to?”

Willow moved around the table and gave Buffy a hug. “It’s okay Buffy. You just saved the future, so we know things’ll work out.” Buffy gave a feeble laugh, appreciating Willow’s attempt at cheering her up. 

“Come to dinner tonight, I’ll ring Dawn, she’d love it.” She’d stopped crying and realised guiltily how much she’d been missing Willow’s company.

“Can’t tonight, sorry. I’ve got a date,”

“What! You sneaky thing, who is she? Do I know her?” Buffy was happy to change the subject, feeling a little sheepish that she’d cried in front of her friend.

“You do actually,” Willow replied, surprising Buffy “Do you remember Lake? She works for the DoD?” Buffy nodded, having a vague memory of the woman “Well she rang me, out of the blue. She’s in town and saw an article about the Women’s Center in a local rag, saw my name and thought it was fate,” Willow blushed a little, seeing Buffy’s knowing smile. “It’s just dinner, a chance to catch up, that’s all,”


	4. Chapter 4

Spike was chatting to Dawn when Buffy arrived home. He smiled when he saw her and she smiled back, gratified that at least Spike was ever constant and always happy to see her. She said hi to them both and she and Spike made their way outside. 

“Been on your travels Slayer?” he asked as he sat on the back steps and lit a cigarette.

“Trying to get Willow to stop getting Angel’s hopes up,” she answered. She gently bumped her shoulder against Spike’s as she sat down beside him.

“Can imagine how that went. The witch can’t ever be dissuaded once magic’s involved. Bet she’s got that coven of hers working on it, lots of jolly fun to he had, interfering with other dimensions,” his sarcasm more than evident. Buffy didn’t bother to reply, he was right, it was difficult to persuade Willow not to do something once magic was involved. 

“Tell you what, how about you and me go have our own jolly jape?”. Buffy’s eyes widened, wondering what he had in mind. “Didn’t bother with those vamps this morning, so how about you and I get the job done now?”

Buffy was no longer allowed to hunt demons on her own time, unless her every action was pre-approved, detailed in her notebook and didn’t break departmental rules. But right now she didn’t really care about rules and regulations. She needed to find some sort of release. Without a word she stood and held out her hand. Spike grabbed it, a self-satisfied smile on his face. Buffy pulled him to his feet and together they went to slay some vampires. 

“Do you know,” Spike said conversationally as they walked “If you weren’t a bloody copper we could be out doing this every night,”

“But I am a ‘bloody copper’,” Buffy replied, mimicking Spike’s accent, badly.

He gave a derisive bark of laughter at her poor attempt at mimicry. “You don’t even like the sodding job. Don’t have a clue why you’re doing it, and that uniform does nothing for you.” With that, he marched on in front, leaving a startled Buffy to stare at this receding back. She jogged to catch him, stopping him with a hand on his arm.

“I’m trying to do the adult thing here. Have a job, keep a job. Be a grown up. If you weren’t such a child, you’d understand,”. Feeling superior she took the lead, then stopped. “I don’t actually know where I’m going,” she said, refusing to show the embarrassment she suddenly felt.

“In’t that the truth.” Spike said under his breath, fully aware that Buffy had heard.

He took the lead and Buffy could see by the set of his shoulders that he wasn’t happy with her. Within a few paces he’d stopped again. “You silly bint. I only want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Well, since I got this soul anyways. That job is not making you happy. In fact I’d go so far as to say nothing is making you happy right now.”

Before Buffy could reply, he’d turned and was pointing at an office building across the street. “Went outta business three months past,” Spike explained. “Economic downturn or some such. Lot’s of offices empty around here,”

“Exactly! Economic downturn. Just the time to give up my job with no prospects of getting another,” Buffy replied airily, sure she’d won this argument. 

They crossed the street and Buffy made to force the front door. Spike grabbed her arm and nodded his head “Windows broken at the back pet, easy access.” They made their way silently around the back of the building and saw several smashed windows. Spike jumped through easily. Buffy could tell he was annoyed with her, as he didn’t help her climb through the window.

Once inside they found themselves standing in an open plan office, a few broken desks and chairs scattered around the room. Buffy was surprised when Spike seemed to want to continue arguing.

“Can you hear yourself Slayer? ‘Economic downturn’ and ‘job prospects’,” he was whispering now, as not to alert the occupants of their presence, but his anger was evident “You’re the bloody slayer. You could do anything you want. You could get that bloody Watchers Council to pay you more for a start!”

“I don’t want to be reliant on the ‘bloody’ Watchers Council or Giles or anyone else!” Buffy hissed back.

“You’re so damn hung up on being grown-up, yet you’re behaving like a sodding kid, worse than Dawn ever was. Oh, and if you wanted to be an adult, move out of your little sisters house,” Spike hissed back, and with that he turned and walking along the corridor, turning once, he put his finger to his lips and shushed a seething Buffy. 

Buffy felt her anger boiling. How dare he shush her! How dare he talk to her like this, who the hell did he think he was, stupid jealous vampire. As if she didn’t know it was Angel’s presence that made Spike want her out of that house. 

Spike swung open the heavy door that lead to the stairway and began to climb. He let the door shut, rather than holding it open for her. She grabbed the door, wrenched it off its hinges and took the stairs two at a time, reaching Spike just as he opened the door to the second floor.

Just like the first floor, this was another open plan office, dark but for a burning oil can in the center, casting shadows around the room. Buffy pushed forward and Spike was suddenly taken by how beautiful she looked, lit by the firelight, glowing with warmth and strength. He wanted to tell her how glorious she was and that he didn’t want to argue anymore, but just then a vampire flew out of the darkness and there was no time to say anything.

It wasn’t as satisfying a fight as Buffy had hoped. There were only three vampires, and they fought like the fledges they were, with no control and little power. They were dispatched within a few minutes, leaving Spike and Buffy to make their way back down the stairs. Neither of them felt as fulfilled as they’d expected and Buffy still felt keyed up over the earlier argument. She hoped the fight had put an end to their previous conversation, but no such luck.

“Look Slayer. Buffy,” Spike had stopped on the stairs, blocking her way “I know we’re not together anymore and so I’ve no right to say anything, but I do still care about you and I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself about . . . certain things,”

Buffy pushed past him, “What things would they be Spike?” her anger evident in the tone of her voice.

“Well apart from that job . . . ,” Spike took an un-needed breath, summoning up his courage, knowing he was playing with fire “Don’t be getting all moon eyed over my gormless grandsire Slayer. He’ll come crawling back to you cos he’s messed up over Illyria, but it’s her he loves. He doesn’t even know you anymore. You can’t be so bloody blind as not to see that?”


	5. Chapter 5

The moment she hit him, she wished she hadn’t. Spike landed on the stairs, his head bouncing on the concrete step. Sure he had a fractured skull at the very least, Spike put his hand to his head, his eyes suddenly blurry. The stairwell around him shimmered, blues, reds and golds swam before his eyes. The crack on his head had made this world disappear for a few seconds and suddenly it didn’t feel real to him anymore. Something had shifted within him, or within the world, he wasn’t exactly sure.

Buffy was on her knees beside him, her hand stroking his face “Oh God Spike, I’m so sorry.” She felt so ashamed, tears welled up in her eyes. He didn’t deserve this, he was her friend and she knew he was trying, in his stupid vampire way, to help her and save her from more Angel induced pain. 

Spike suddenly grabbed her wrist “Buffy. I love you,” he said, his voice shaky.

Buffy smiled through her tears, “I love you too . . . .oh,” her voice tailed off, an overwhelming sense of déjà vu hit her. “Ow,” she exclaimed, as Spike’s grip on her wrist tightened. 

“No. I love you. Completely. I’d die for you.” Buffy just stared at him, she felt utterly confused. “We split up Slayer. Why did we do that?” Buffy continued to stare, not sure what the answer was. 

“I think . . . I’m not sure . . . but I think it was mutual?” Buffy replied, her statement sounding more like a question. She really wasn’t sure why they’d split up. “Did we fight?” she asked.

Spike sat up, the pain in his head slowly receding, but not the feeling that the world had changed. He found his cigarettes and lit one, taking a deep drag. The Slayer sat on the step below, leaning against the wall, trying to recall how she and Spike split up. Her memory seemed to be affected, because she couldn’t think of it at all.

“I don’t remember fighting with you. Well, no more than usual,” Spike said. “But this,” he waved his hand between them “feels wrong. It shouldn’t be like this.” He took another deep drag of his cigarette. “You’re pretty much the only thing I’ve thought about for 13 years. I got a soul because I loved you. I bloody died because I loved you. The only way I’d leave you is if you told me to go. There is nothing mutual about this,”

Buffy nodded. She felt it too. There was something wrong, but the truth was just out of her reach. The idea was there, but the thought kept slipping away. Then suddenly a thought hit her. “Dawn!”. She stood, pulling Spike up with her. “When was Joycie born? What’s her birthday?”  
Spike shook his head “Don’t have a bloody clue,” he replied, a feeling of desperation welling up in him. This had to be magic, and that magic had hurt Dawn. Was Joycie a demon? All sorts of thoughts rushed through his head. The thought that he may have to kill Joycie made him fall back to the stairs in horror.

“When did Dawn tell us she was pregnant?” Buffy asked, getting frantic. “And Xander. In suburbia with a wife and child and a barbecue in the back yard on a Sunday. He would never ever do that. That’s too much like his parents. He’d never live like that,” she was shaking her head in bewilderment, so many things suddenly seemed so wrong.

“You becoming a sodding copper!” Spike bellowed. “That must be part of the spell. I bloody knew it. You’d never kowtow to that bunch of wankers,”

The two of them grabbed at each other, suddenly unsure if anything else was real in this world but each other. Both were sure that something terrible was happening, but neither knew what it was. “Willow!” Buffy cried, “It could be her sodding spell!” Spike replied angrily. 

“I knew Faith would never make a police officer,” Buffy scoffed “I should have known something was wrong as soon as they suggested she take the Sergeants exam.” Spike laughed at his envious Slayer, so jealous that Faith was beating her at this adulting lark. 

Buffy felt calmer now. She and Spike could un-weird this magical weirdness as long as they worked together, she was sure of it. “Willow’s the only person I know who can do this. This spell has to be powerful, it’s changed our whole world. Or it’s altered our memories. Or moved us into another dimension. Well, we don’t know what’s happened, but if it’s not one of Willow’s spells gone wrong, she’s the only one powerful enough to reverse whatever’s happening,”

They made their way out of the office, through the window they’d entered by. “Where does Willow live?” Spike asked. This stopped Buffy in her tracks. She had no idea where her best friend lived. How ridiculous, she thought, why had this never occurred to her before? “The center, that’s the only place, apart from Dawn and Xander’s place, that I’ve seen her since our apartment.” Buffy grabbed Spike’s arm, panic-stricken “What the hell happened to our apartment?”

“Who knows Slayer, who knows,” Spike replied gently, trying to calm her down, acting cooler that he really felt. “I remember Angel and Illyria knocking on our door. I remember travelling to the future. I remember Harth grabbing the scythe and nearly breaking my bloody neck. I remember Illyria being dragged through the portal to a hell dimension, with a whole army of demons. That’s the last memory that feels real to me.”

They virtually ran all the way to the Women’s Center, where the security guard let them in. Buffy took the opportunity to ring Dawn and tell her they would be late for dinner. She wasn’t happy, but Buffy told herself that none of them would remember this after they’d spoken to Willow, she hoped.


	6. Chapter 6

Willow did indeed have her own apartment in the center and that’s where Spike and Buffy found her. She was getting ready for her date, and seemed very confused by their rushed explanation of what was happening.

“So . . .” Willow began “Spike hit his head and now he thinks the world isn’t real. I think you need a doctor, not a witch. Or maybe a witch-doctor,” she giggled at her own joke, not fully understanding the urgency of the situation.

Buffy and Spike looked at each other in disbelief. Spike was just about to inform Willow how he thought of her and her magic when Buffy had an idea. “Lake!” she exclaimed. Willow looked confused, but Buffy continued “Lake Stevens, that’s her name, right? Well she rings you out of the blue after what, three years? Doesn’t that seem odd Will?” Willow looked as though she were going to reply in a logical and convincing manner, so Buffy kept talking “Time is weird here, in this world. I’ve been feeling things I haven’t felt in years, like wanting a 'normal' life, whatever the hell that means. Even joining the police department, don't you remember how much I really didn't want to do that when we were 17? Doesn’t that seem weird? There’s so much weird here Willow,”

“Giles!” Spike said, jumping to his feet. The two women turned to him in surprise and to regain his cool he slipped his thumbs in his belt and tilted his head. He knew Buffy could never resist his head tilts. “Yeah, so,” he said, oozing cool “how did Giles become a grown man? Anyone see it happen? One minute he’s a 17-year-old boy, the next he’s a middle-aged wanker, err watcher.” He liked the stunned look that appeared on Willow’s face as she slumped into an overstuffed chair. 

“Oh lord,” Willow said, still in partial shock. She began counting on her fingers “Giles was a boy then a man. Dawn had a baby and I can’t remember her being pregnant. Xander lives in the suburbs. You two have split up. Xander's letting Angel to live in his basement. Faith is a police officer . . . oh lord,”

“Think there are probably lots of other things that are ‘off’,” Buffy added “But I think whoever did this to us is using our memories to build this world, and some of the memories are past their sell by dates,” Buffy took Spike’s hand and gave it a squeeze. She thought about her and Angel in the kitchen that morning. That was definitely an old memory and something she decided not to share with Spike right at this moment. Or ever.

“So come on Red, do your stuff, send us back to where we belong,” Spike’s impatience was starting to show.

Willow moved to a large cabinet that took up almost one wall of her apartment. She opened the doors and the shelves inside brimming with oils and potions, herbs and candles, what looked like a ceremonial dagger and a small collection of bones. Buffy hoped the bones weren’t human.  
Willow took three candles and placed them on the floor, she nodded to Spike to light them. She then began to mix herbs in a small bowl, all the time chanting under her breath. 

“I can’t send us back in time,” Willow said once she’d finished chanting. At the sight of Spike and Buffy’s alarmed faces she clarified “Yet! I can’t send us back yet. I need to see what’s real and what isn’t, who did the spell and when it actually happened.” She ordered Buffy and Spike to sit and began to chant in a language the other’s didn’t recognise. She threw the herbs into the air, and suddenly the room was full of light and colour. Lights danced above them as Willow gracefully rose to her feet and glided towards the window. The light gathered around her, making her shimmer, she stopped chanting and stared out into the gloom. It seemed to be pitch black outside and Willow seemed to be reading the darkness. After several moments the colourful lights began to dissipate. 

Willow returned to her spot on the floor. “I think I know when it happened,” she said, pulling a cushion from the sofa to make sitting on the floor more comfortable. “I don’t think it was planned, I get the impression that it was an accident. That’s probably why things don’t really make sense. The combination of Harth having the Slayers scythe, and the Magician’s wand, seems to have somehow twisted time and sent it all kerblooey.” 

“So what can we do?” Buffy asked “Can you send us back Will? Can we change time?” 

Willow picked up a candlestick and began to pick off the little lumps of cooled wax. After a few moments contemplation she said “I think I can take us back to the point Harth grabbed the scythe. I think that’s the moment it happened,”

“If we can go back, is there a way we can change what happened to Illyria? Can we stop her going through that portal?” Buffy knew this might be their only opportunity to save her.

Willow bit her bottom lip “I was weak then, but I think I can channel the power I have now, and keep my strength. If I stay strong, I can send the demons through the portal and keep them there. Illyria won’t have to go through with them. So yeah, I think we can save her and stop this strange world from ever happening,”

Once Willow began to form a plan, she became more energised and seemed decidedly excited by the prospect of bending time to her will. 

"What could possibly go wrong," Spike said cheerily.


	7. Chapter 7

“How do we explain this to everyone?” Willow asked. “Can you imagine, Dawn’s changing Joyce one minute and the next she’s trying to send demons through a portal. It’s just too dangerous if they’re not prepared.”

“We lie,” Buffy said, quickly raising her hand to stop the others interrupting her “I’ve thought about this. We say we’re going back for Illyria. We don’t even tell them this world isn’t real. It would be too much to handle. They know you’ve been working on getting Illyria back Will, so they’d believe you’d finally found a way and really, it’s only half a lie.” She looked from Willow to Spike, hoping they’d understand her reasoning. It was Spike who spoke first.

“Not sure that’s such a good idea Slayer. They might not want to give up what they’ve got, they’ve got to make the decision for themselves.” He stared at the floor, not ready to look her in the eye, knowing how crushed she would be thinking he was betraying her. 

No one spoke for a while. Willow busied herself gathering the ingredients she’d need for the spell. She understood lying would be the easiest option for them, and she wasn’t so concerned about giving everyone a choice. The three of them knew this world wasn’t real, so they had no other option then to try and get back to reality. She decided to leave the morality of the situation to Buffy, while she occupied herself with the practical.

Buffy casually wrapped her arms around Spike and rested her head on his shoulder. Being close to him helped to dismantle the barriers that the spell had built. This felt real and natural and she knew this is how her life was meant to be. Even in the midst of this terrible situation Buffy felt happier than she had in a very long time. Surprised, Spike kissed the top of her head, breathing her in, overwhelmed by the love he felt for this amazing woman. His Slayer.

“I understand how you feel,” she said “but look at the lives we have. Are any of us happy?” Spike shook his head and looked resigned. “I know you haven’t been,” Buffy said, searching his face. “I should have seen how unhappy you’ve been. How lonely, watching the wrong vampire move into the basement.” She smiled up at him, hoping he got the humour. “Can you imagine Dawn agreeing to let Angel live in the basement, while you lived god knows where. We should have known right then that something was wrong.” 

“Buffy, this here is what makes me happy pet. Being with you,” Spike said, smiling down at her “This is your plan, your decision and I trust you. Hey, what’s a little white lie between friends,” He lent down and kissed her. He felt giddy, kissing his wonderful Slayer, feeling the softness of her body pressed against his. He knew that whatever happened, she loved him in this moment, so the next moment could look after itself.

It was decided that Willow would ring Giles. He was not happy to be awakened at 4 am, but once he heard Willow’s reasons he calmed down. He had lots of questions, but Willow managed to persuade him that this was the only way to get Illyria back. Giles assured her he would be ready within the hour. Willow instructed him to simply do what he had done before. The only thing that was to change, she said, was grabbing Illyria before she went through the portal. The spell would last only a few minutes.

Buffy was a little impressed at how easily Willow lied to Giles, but Willow said it was more lying through omission rather than on outright lie, and she was fine with that. 

Spike rang Faith and Angel. Faith seemed quite excited, seeing it as an adventure. She was definitely up for getting Illyria back, if only for Angel’s sake.

Angel was quiet for a long time, then said he’d be ready when the time came. “We’ll get Blue back mate,” Spike said, trying to comfort the big ponce, but their relationship wasn’t one that allowed for much comfort. “We will,” was Angel’s only reply. Spike wished there was more he could say. He liked Blue and she’d been good for Angel, and then there was Fred . . . for the first time in this world, Spike thought about Fred, trapped within the orbit of the godking, forced to do whatever Illyria demanded. Angel had said she’d agreed to fighting, even to dying if necessary. He was struck then by the thought that none of them had a choice, they were all subject to the demands of another, and that’s really what love was. 

Buffy had spoken to Dawn and Xander and they’d eagerly agreed. Xander was happily imagining Angel living somewhere that was not his basement. 

Buffy felt guiltier than she knew possible when she ended the call. She gave up a silent prayer to Willow’s goddesses that if Joyce were a figment of this world that neither Dawn or Xander would be heartbroken at her loss. The enormity of what they were about to do suddenly hit her and she bit her lip to stop it trembling.   
Spike saw the pain on Buffy’s face and knew it was his turn to comfort her. He took her in his arms and held her till she was ready to talk. He thought how wonderful it was that he could hold her like this, whenever she needed him. 

“We’re ending the world,” Buffy whispered.

“We are at that love,” Spike said “But like you said, it’s not a happy world, so maybe it should be ended,”  
“They might be happy, Dawn and Xander, Giles, Faith . . . ,”

“I don’t believe it. Not really. They’re putting on a brave face to get by, but they’re not happy,”

Whether that was true or not, didn’t really matter. The die had been cast, they were going to end this illusion and hope reality was better.

Willow called them back to the candles. Spike lit them and Willow slid a knife from the sleeve of her dress. Before Buffy or Spike could stop her, she slashed the knife across her palm and her blood ran into a bowl that nestled between the candles. Willow spoke a few words in an ancient language and blew out the candles. The world went dark.


	8. Chapter 8

“I’ve got it Willow,” Dawn shouted above the din. She had opened a portal to what she was pretty sure was a hell dimension. Willow uttered a short incantation, and with a wave of her hand demons began flying through the air. Soon there were thousands of screaming demons swirling above their heads. Willow clapped her hands and one by one demons began crashing through the portal. Willow couldn’t remember when she’d had so much fun, but thought she wouldn’t mention that to anyone afterwards, she wasn’t sure they’d understand. 

“I have it,” screamed Harth, brandishing the scythe he’d seized from Buffy’s. With the Magicians’s wand and the Slayer's scythe he was able to transfer all the Slayer power to himself.

Willow was hurling demon after demon through the portal. She was at full strength and knew that by her will alone, she could hold the demons in the other dimension, Illyria's sacrifice was unnecessary.

Illyria was moving towards the portal, seemingly in the thrall of the hell dimension on the other side. In anguish, Angel grabbed her, forcing her to look away from the portal, tryng break the hold it had over her. “It’s the energies of the hell dimension affecting you,” he cried above the noise. “You have to fight it.” 

“My warrior,” she said, pride evident in her voice. She stroked Angel’s face. “You give me all the strength I shall ever need." 

Willow turned, seeing Buffy through the smoke, and sent a silent message “We’ve done it, we’ve saved her.” She could feel Buffy's sense of relief, knowing this battle would soon be over.

Harth made a grab for Buffy. He pulled her towards him, easily done with the loss of her powers. He was ready to destroy her and all the Slayers, so end the Slayer line. He would live forever, a vampire with all that power, not one could defeat him. The future was his to do with as he pleased. 

He let his demon face come forward, ready to rip out Buffy’s throat, then suddenly without warning, he let out a scream of horror, and fell to his knees. He had been imbued not only with the power of the Slayers, but with the Slayer's emotions, and they were overwhelming him. Every feeling that every Slayer had ever had, seeping from the scythe into Harth, coursing through him. The pain was unimaginable. 

Willow could see the power wending its way around Harth. A golden light from the scythe in his hand and the dark blue of the Magicians Wand, hanging from his belt, weaving itself around him. She knew that this had been the point when their fantasy world had been created. In an attempt to rid himself of all those uncontrollable Slayer feelings, he’d tried to psychically shift them into another dimension, but the blue and the gold, magic and emotion, wouldn’t be so easily discarded. So instead, Harth’s demon had accidentally created a whole new world, built just for those trying to destroy him.

Willow tore her eyes from the beauty of the magic and told Dawn to quickly close and seal the portal. There were very few demons left, and the remaining Slayers were dispatching them quickly. Once their leader had fallen, they no longer seemed to have a taste for battle. 

She put a psychic barrier around Harth so none of the Slayer emotion could escape and he was permanently trapped with these feelings. All that pain, horror and misery that every Slayer had born, it was now all held within him. As he writhed in screaming agony, unable to bear the pain, Melaka took him in her arms, as if to comfort him, held him steady as Buffy pushed the scythe's wooden stake through his heart.


	9. Chapter 9

At the moment Harth was turned to dust, Willow cast the last part of her spell and the scoobies were transported back to their lives as they should have been, three months after the battle. It was a little disorientating for everyone involved. 

Willow and Buffy found themselves outside the women’s center, which in this world was called The Women’s Building. “Buffy! Willow!” The two women turned to see Giles striding towards them. Giles was once again a 17-year-old boy. He had sandy hair, wore glasses and had the sweetest smile. Buffy was so happy to see him that she hugged him and thought she’d never let him go.

“Do you remember being grown up Giles?” Willow asked, joining in the hug.

“A bit,” he laughed “I was middle aged, my back hurt and my eyesight was failing. I was also running the Watcher’s Council, and that’s not something I want to do, at least not yet. I want to have adventures first,”

Willow suddenly exclaimed, “Watcher’s Council! Oh, it was so simple. The Women’s Center. WC, The Watcher’s Council. This place should never be called a center. Women aren’t centered, we’re not a homogeneous lump, we're all different and we all need different things,”

Buffy and Giles looked at her as though she were speaking a different language. Willow shrugged, undeterred “Well we’re not,” she said, as though waiting for someone to disagree.

“Err, yes, well . . . Where’s everyone else?” asked Giles, quickly changing the subject. Their memories were slowly being altered and they weren’t completely sure what was real and what was an illusion. Willow promised that would pass and eventually they should forget that they’d ever been anyone other than who there were now. 

“I expect Spike will be at home, as it’s daylight,” Buffy said, suddenly feeling a jolt of relief that she and Spike still had a home together. She felt an overwhelming urge to run there now, knowing with certainty that she would find her lover asleep in their bed, waiting for her to wake him with kisses. 

“Well I need to stay here and oversee the new computers being installed,” Willow said. “Hey, I remember this,” a big smile spread across her face “I’m looking forward to it actually.”

“That’s our Will,” Buffy said, hugging her friend. “I better check on Angel and Illyria, see if they made it back unscathed. Coming with?” Giles nodded happily. They said their goodbyes and a very proud Giles directed Buffy to a rather worn, grey, Honda Civic. 

“My first car. Or my first car second time around.” Giles’s evident pleasure in his car made Buffy smile, she felt like a proud parent, whose child was growing up too fast. The child becomes the parent she thought idly as they drove.

Dawn and Xander weren’t actually at home. They were walking back from the grocery store. Xander was carrying two bags full to bursting and Dawn had another slung over her shoulder. 

“Oh God, I feel so strange,” Dawn gasped. She felt like all the air had suddenly left her lungs. She was being assailed by a thousand different memories, some of which were incredibly confusing. 

“So, suburbia?” Xander said, trying to deal with his own muddled memories. “Su-bur-bi-a.” He knew he must sound foolish, but he didn’t know how else to express how lost he felt.

“We had a baby Xander. You and me, we had a child,” Dawn stumbled and Xander reached for her, stopping her from falling. 

“I’m sorry,” he said “Not for catching you, but for everything else.” He dropped the two bags of groceries and pulled Dawn close “I’m sorry our child is gone.” 

Even though they both knew the baby hadn't been real, she had felt real to them. They had loved her and cared for her . . . they just couldn't quite remember her name right now. Or the colour of her eyes. 

“It’s fading a bit, you know?” Dawn whispered “Not that she was really real, she was just an illusion in a demons head,”

Xander took Dawn’s hand “Are we gonna be okay Dawn? Is this too much for us?”

Dawn frowned “I love you Xand, but I think I want to finish college before I settle down. That’s sort of a deal breaker, you know?”

Xander nodded dramatically, a sense of relief flooding his body “Uh uh, so no kids. No kids yet. Yeah?”

“Yeah, maybe for a long time. There's stuff I want to do first, like get my Masters, visit Paris and Berlin, maybe work at the Council. Or maybe not. I don’t know. I might study in England. Bet I could get into Oxford if I tried,” she took a steadying breath. “I love you, and I want us to be together, but not like . . . that. Having a baby and you working all the hours god sends, and me feeling lonely and afraid all the time. I remember my parent’s marriage being horrible and your parents . . . well, Xander, I really do not want to end up like them!”

“Check, never end up like my parents,” Xander nodded, his face serious, that was definitely an idea he could get behind.

“In fact,” Dawn suggested “if we ever do get married, and that’s a very big if, you could maybe take my name. Xander Lavelle Summers has a ring to it.”

“Maybe we could double barrel. Summers-Harris?” Xander countered. They started walking again, discussing the very interesting future they hoped was in store. In which they would probably become the Harris-Summers and children might play a part, but might not, and Dawn had always wanted a puppy . . .


	10. Chapter 10

Angel opened the door to Xander and Dawn’s apartment. 

“How are you?” Buffy asked, giving him a quick hug.

“We’re fine. It was strange at first. Illyria thought she was still fighting demons in the hell dimension and nearly threw me through the wall. But we’re okay now.” Illyria appeared from the kitchen, but before Buffy could say hi, Illyria vanished and Winifred Burkle stood in her place, suitably dressed in a short plaid skirt and pink t-shirt.

Buffy gasped and Giles looked stunned “That’s so interesting,” he said “are you having trouble controlling your personas?”

“Oh no, not really,” Fred replied, smoothing down her skirt. “Illyria gets bored by social situations, and I like to chat, so sometimes I appear. Hey presto,” Fred giggled. Angel wrapped a protective arm around her waist. Buffy noted how adoringly he looked at Fred and she was strangely gladdened by that. I guess it’s a thrupple she though with a shrug. She made a mental note to discuss this with Spike once she got home, she was sure he would have some extravagant theories about how it all worked. 

“So, what are you three lovebirds gonna do now?” she asked.

“We’re going to San Pedro,” Fred replied “I hear it’s quite the party town,” she grinned at her own joke and looked so cute, Giles and Buffy couldn’t help but smile too. 

“We’re going to help Giles,” Angel explained. “There’s a girl there he wants to see.” Buffy looked enquiringly at Giles, feeling hurt she hadn’t heard about this sooner.

“So, err, yes, Buffy, when I went to LA last year, I err. . . I met someone. A vampire someone,” Giles explained haltingly, his voice a little shaky. “I fell in love with a soulless demon Buffy. Me, Rupert Giles. It was . . . astounding. Completely unexpected. Her name is Roux and she swept me off my feet,” Buffy just stared at him, not quite believing what she was hearing. “I know it’s crazy, and I didn’t say anything because she had to go away. But it opened by eyes Buffy, to how much I’d judged you, and misjudged you. You and Spike. I can only apologise, and hope you can forgive me?”

Without a second thought Buffy folded Giles in her arms and hugged him tight. “Of course we forgive you,” she said, speaking for Spike too. “Even if it did take you a lifetime to see the truth,” she added snarkily. “But if she’s gone away how will you find her?”

“I know exactly where she is, but I need Angel to get to her. She’s under water.” 

“And I know a lot about being under water,” Angel added quietly.

Buffy wondered if she would ask Angel about his underwater adventures, but he was saved by Faith hammering on the door. “Xander? Dawn? Is anyone home?” Buffy quickly opened the door; sure Faith would tear it off its hinges and not wanting to face Dawn’s wrath when she saw a broken door.

“Hey B,” Faith sounded confused. “Everything’s changed. Did you know everything’s changed?” she looked around the room accusingly. “I’m not sure what’s changed, but I’m damn sure something has, and not just rescuing Fred there,”

“It’s all to do with time travel,” Fred said by way of explanation. Before she could say more, Faith held up her hand “No, It’s okay. It’s just weird and I was freaked for a sec, but I’m okay now.”

Buffy contemplated telling Faith the truth; that they’d all lived a different life for three months, a life accidentally devised in the subconscious of the demon from the future, built from memories they all had. But that just sounded so unreal that Buffy decided omission was the better part of valour.

“So, yeah, just wanted to tell you that Andrew rang, from London. He's working with the Watchers Council and offered me a job helping to train new Slayers. Now how could I turn that down?” she asked “I’d be like a teacher. Me, a frikkin teacher.” The joy in Faith’s voice was unmistakable.

Buffy decided it was time she wasn’t here. She made her farewells and began the short walk home. She felt an enormous sense of relief when she was once again standing at her own front door, key in hand, ready to really begin her life.

She knew exactly what the apartment looked like, she had the memory, but it was still a surprise when she stepped inside. So many books. Shelves and shelves of books. Old ones too, with hard covers in dull reds and greens. The big tv, the games console, big soft sofa and chairs. It was comfortable and homely and she suddenly thought her mom would like this, and that made her happy. 

She made her way through to the bedroom. It was late afternoon, so not so dark that she couldn’t see him. Spike was in bed, naked on his back, his eyes closed, a sheet gathered at his waist. Buffy took in his nakedness and thought how perfect he looked. For some unknown reason she thought of her mom again, and hoped Joyce would approve of her choice. Buffy shook the unbidden thought away. 

She sat on the edge of the bed, unzipped her boots and quietly placed them on the floor. She took off her jeans and shirt and slid into bed besides Spike, pulling the cover over herself. She draped her arm across his body and a leg across his legs. Her touch woke him, and he growled as though annoyed at being woken. 

“Slayer, you’re home,” he said, pulling her closer.

“Yep. Lots to tell you,” she said, snuggling into his side.

“How much do you remember?” 

“Some. I didn’t like it,” she said  
“It is better now isn’t it?” he asked, stroking his fingers through her hair.

“Mmm, it really is,” Buffy answered, reaching up and feathering small kisses along Spike’s jaw. 

“It’s been a very long day,” she yawned “I can’t remember when I last slept,”

“Sleep love. It’s okay now. Us together, our bed, in our apartment, as it should be,” 

Buffy tightened her arms around him “As it should be,” she said as she drifted to sleep in her lovers arms.


End file.
